


Filling The Empty

by Fandom_Stuff



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-01 07:14:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18331193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Stuff/pseuds/Fandom_Stuff
Summary: Dean is still recovering from his ordeal with Michael and Cas is the only one that sees how hard it really is for Dean to readjust to his old hunting life.Dean left the motel and got into Baby, letting his hands run over the steering wheel as he took a deep breath. Dean's hand was reaching for the key when the door to the passenger side opened and Cas entered the car, "something's bothering you, I can tell."Dean let his hand slide from the ignition, he turned his gaze to Cas and felt his facade slip and his walls crumble,  "everything's wrong with me, Cas."TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT





	1. Chapter 1

Dean was tired and covered in blood by the time he and Sam made it back to the Impala. The nest of vampires they had disposed of had been particularly challenging to vanquish and all Dean wanted to do was go back to the motel and go to bed. As Dean started the engine Sam’s phone buzzed and Dean risked a glance at the screen before turning back to the road, “what’cha got?” Dean asked. 

“It’s just Cas and Jack,” Sam replied, “they’re back at the motel, they took care of the other nest of vampires.” 

“Awesome.” 

“I still can’t believe there were two nests in the same town, that’s never happened before,” Sam said. 

“Well, I suppose it was about time then,” Dean replied. 

Dean swung the Impala into the parking space outside of their motel room and stepped out of the car, letting the hinges squeak as he shut the door. When they entered the motel room they saw that Cas and Jack were sitting on the couch, both covered in just as much blood as Dean and Sam. Cas stood up to greet the Winchesters, “I’m glad to see you are both alright.” 

“You too, Cas.” Dean replied with a half smirk as he patted the angel’s back and moved past him to get a beer. 

Sam sat down next to Jack and peered at the computer that was open in front of the boy, “Do you think there’s a case in Minnesota?” Sam asked once he had read the article Jack had open. 

“It does seem that way,” Jack replied. 

“Well, we can check it out,” Sam said. 

Dean sat down in a chair at the table and took a swig of his beer before asking, “what do you think we’re looking at?”

“I’m thinking ghost,” Jack replied. 

Sam nodded in agreement, “could be, but it could also be something else.” 

“What does the article say?” Dean asked. 

“Two missing person’s accounts were filed after a couple never came out of a haunted house at a carnival,” Sam replied. 

Dean sat up, “it could be nothing but we can go check it out.” 

“Are we going to leave today?” Jack asked. 

Cas was the first to respond, “no, it’s too late to drive tonight and we should all get cleaned up before we go anywhere.” 

“Cas is right,” Dean said with a yawn, “we’ll leave first thing tomorrow.” He turned to Jack, “why don’t you hop in the shower first.” 

Jack complied and went into the bathroom. Once the sound of the water reached them Dean met Cas’s eyes, “so, how did he do?” 

Cas sat down on the couch which Jack had recently vacated, “he did very well, he’s a natural hunter.” 

“That’s good,” Sam said as he stood to get his own beer. 

Cas looked at Dean and licked his lips before continuing, “you know all he wants to do is please you.” 

Dean’s gaze shifted from Cas’s blue eyes to the beer bottle he held in his hand, “I know,” he said quietly. 

The conversation lapsed into uncomfortable silence. Soon Dean couldn’t take it anymore and he stood up, “where are you going?” Sam asked. 

“I just need some air,” Dean replied. 

Dean left the motel and got into Baby, letting his hands run over the steering wheel as he took a deep breath. Dean’s hand was reaching for the key when the door to the passenger side opened and Cas entered the car, “something’s bothering you, I can tell.” 

Dean let his hand slide from the ignition, he turned his gaze to Cas and felt his facade slip and his walls crumble, “everything’s wrong with me, Cas.” 

Cas shifted in his seat so he could fully face Dean, “what do you mean?” 

Dean drew a hand over his eyes and down his chin, “this whole thing with Michael, it’s…” He trailed off, unsure of how to continue. 

Cas reached forward and put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, right where his handprint would have been had Dean not been cleansed of all his scars, “I know it must be hard for you to adjust back to your   
old life after what you’ve been through.” 

Dean blinked at Cas, trying to hold back the tears he’d been keeping at bay ever since Michael had freed him, “I was a prisoner in my own body. I couldn’t fight him, the harder I tried the more he pushed   
me down. I tried Cas, I tried so hard to regain control but he was so much stronger than me,” Dean looked away, trying to recompose himself. “Michael did horrible things, Cas, and I couldn’t do anything to stop him.” 

“None of it was your fault,” Cas said.   
Rage exploded from Dean as he finally let a tear fall from his eye, “All of it was my fault Cas! Everything Michael did was on me! Because I said YES!” 

“It was the only way to defeat Lucifer, you did what you had to do,” Cas reasoned. 

Dean shook his head, wiping the tear from his cheek, “All I do is hurt people Cas.” 

Cas was quick to disprove Dean, “That’s not true Dean, you help people, so many people would be dead if it weren’t for you and your brother!” 

Dean shook his head, “Sam’s the better hunter, everyone knows it, I’m just along for the ride. Sam does the research and I sneak off to bars and get drunk.” 

“You’re every bit as important as Sam, and you do research too, just maybe not as much. Sam’s not perfect, and you know that, he’s made deals with demons too, he drank demon blood, he let Lucifer   
possess him, just like you let Michael possess you.” 

“But Sam didn’t kill people while Lucifer possessed him, he regained control and threw himself into the cage.” 

“You can’t spend your time dwelling on the past. Michael is gone and you’re back. Everyone misses the old Dean and if you keep beating yourself up over all the mistakes you’ve made you won’t be able to enjoy what’s right in front of you. You need to forgive yourself, Dean.” 

“How can I forgive myself after everything!?” Dean growled. Dean’s green eyes were suddenly filled with Cas’s blue ones as he looked at the angel. Dean felt more tears slip down his cheeks as he looked   
away, his bottom lip quivered slightly as he spoke, “I should be dead, Cas. None of this would've happened if I had just stayed dead.” 

“If I hadn’t raised you from perdition the world would be in absolute turmoil. Without you the apocalypse would have destroyed the entire world. Sam would have said Yes and not been able to control Lucifer, lots of people would be dead.” Cas put his hands on Dean’s shoulders to make Dean look him in the eye again, “you need to stop blaming yourself for every bad thing that’s happened. Please just come back inside, get cleaned up, let Jack tell you all about the hunt, don’t do what I think you’re going to.” 

Dean’s hand had been clutching his gun which lay by his side, safety off, ready to use. Dean was trembling, tears slick on his face, “Michael is still out there Cas, if I don’t do this he could come back, I can’t let him in again Cas, I can’t. I just can’t, I can’t anymore!” Dean screamed, he moved the gun from his side and shakily pointed it at his head. Cas was quick to act, his hand was on the gun, forcing it down from the hunters temple. 

“Dean, this isn’t the way to make things right,” Cas said in a whisper as he pulled the gun from Dean’s hands and placed it on the floor of the passenger side. 

Dean collapsed against the leather seats of the Impala, his eyes shut and cheeks wet as his chest shook with uncontrollable sobs. “Please let me end it all,” Dean begged without opening his eyes. 

“I will not let you kill yourself Dean!” Cas replied, cupping the hunters face in his hands and forcing Dean to look at him.

Dean opened his eyes, damp with the river of tears, they stared at each other for a moment before Dean said, “when the apocalypse was starting, I was told I didn’t hunger for anything, that I’m empty. 

Empty, Cas, there’s nothing I want anymore, except to just be free of it all.” 

“You’re not empty, Dean,” Cas said quietly. 

Cas pulled Dean towards him with an arm around his shoulder, Dean fell into Cas’s pull as the angel comforted the hunter as Dean completely gave into his emotions, “Why do I feel like everyone would be better off without me? Everything I do, is about trying to fill that emptiness I feel inside, but nothing works! I still wake up every morning with a pit in my stomach. I can’t sleep for more than four hours or the nightmares will come, I drown myself in beer and women hoping that it will make up for what I can’t feel, but nothing works! So what am I then, Cas? What am I if I’m not empty!” 

Cas’s gravelly voice was only a whisper as he replied, “you’re just broken. But broken things can be fixed. I’m here for you, Dean, whatever you need.” 

Dean didn’t say a word, his vision was cloudy with leftover tears and Cas’s trenchcoat was giving off a comforting scent and he was vaguely aware of something gently running through his hair; It must have been Cas’s fingers but Dean was too exhausted, too tired, to tell Cas off for invading his personal space. 

Cas held Dean as he drifted off to sleep, watching as the hunters breathing slowed and his tears dried on his cheeks. “I love you, Dean,” Cas whispered to the air.   
****  
Dean woke up in his bed in the motel, somehow cleaned of blood and in a fresh pair of clothes, Sam was busy packing up their bags so they could leave and Jack was eating a donut at the table by the window. Cas was sitting on the couch reading something on the computer, he was the first to realize Dean was awake. “Good morning, Dean,” Cas said as Dean sat up in confusion. 

“How did I get here?” He asked. 

“Cas and I carried you in,” Sam replied, “it was too cold to leave you in the Impala overnight.” 

Dean didn’t want to ask about how he had been cleaned up and changed without him waking up so he decided to ignore that factor and got out of bed. “Cas,” Dean said warily, “can I talk to you?”Cas nodded and let Dean lead him into the bathroom where Dean shut the door and confronted the angel, “Cas, about last night-”

“Don’t worry,” Cas cut in, “I didn’t tell Sam about what happened in the Impala.” 

“That’s not what I was going to say,” Dean said, although he was glad that Cas had kept his mouth shut, the last thing he wanted was Sam to be bothering him about his suicidal thoughts. 

“Oh.” Cas said, “then what did you want to say?” 

Dean blinked to clear his head and lowered his voice, “look Cas, just forget about what happened last night.” 

“I don’t understand,” Cas said blandly. 

“Just forget it happened,” Dean growled. He brushed past Cas and left the bathroom to help Sam pack. Once they were all packed they piled into the Impala, Sam sitting shotgun and Cas and Jack in the   
back, and began the drive to Minnesota. 

It was late when they arrived and Dean was careful to avoid Sam’s eyes as they moved around their new motel room. Dean knew eventually Sam would ask him what was going on and Dean would have to tell him a version of the truth, but he was not in the mood to have that conversation with Sam today. However, Dean couldn’t avoid Cas. Cas kept staring at Dean when he thought Dean was looking the other way and Dean couldn’t shake the pity that pooled in the angels eyes everytime Dean made eye contact. It wasn’t just pity that lived in Cas’s eyes there was something else that Dean wasn’t sure he understood. What Dean did know, was that Cas wasn’t going to let their conversation in the Impala slip away. While Cas might let the situation breathe for some time, Dean was sure that the angel was going to bring it up again sooner or later. 

“So we’ll start on the case tomorrow morning,” Sam said as he sat down on his bed and slipped under the covers. 

There were grumbles of agreement as everyone settled down for the night, Jack slumped on the couch, Cas sitting in a chair staring off into the distance, and Dean turning his back to Sam as he pulled his blankets over his body. As Dean began to feel sleep pull at him, he was almost certain that Cas’s eyes had turned from the window to rest on his back. Words that Cas had often said to Dean floated in his mind as he drifted away, “I’ll watch over you.”


	2. Chapter 2

They arrived at the carnival early the next morning. Dressed in suits and ties and pocketing their fake ID badges they entered the site and decided to split up, Dean and Jack going one way and Sam and Cas the other. “Excuse me,” Jack said to a woman that was standing outside the haunted mansion, “can we ask you a few questions?” Jack flashed his badge and Dean showed his as well. 

The woman looked Jack up and down in disbelief, “you’re the FBI?” 

“He’s a trainee,” Dean used the usual excuse. “Now,” Dean stepped closer to the woman, “can you answer a few questions for us?” 

The woman looked Dean up and down with a smile, “Sure, what do you want to know?” 

“What happened the day the couple went missing?” Jack asked. “Were there any odd smells, strange noises, or unusual people that went into the house?” 

The woman laughed, “are you serious? It’s a carnival, there’s nothing but strange smells and noises and the people that come here are like a whole different species.” 

Dean put a hand on Jack’s shoulder and gave the woman an apologetic smile, “what my young partner here is trying to say is, was there anything that seemed out of the ordinary from the usual everyday routine?” 

The woman shrugged, “not that I was aware of.” 

“What about any new employees?” Jack asked. 

At this the woman frowned slightly, “Well, there is Beth, she just started working last week.” 

“And where would Beth be now?” Dean asked. 

“Well, she did work the haunted mansion but now she’s over at the water balloon toss.” 

Dean smiled at the woman and began to steer Jack away, “thank you for your time.” 

“She seemed like a nice woman,” Jack commented as they made their way over to the water balloon toss. 

“Yes she did,” Dean agreed absentmindedly. 

When they reached the water balloon station they saw that Beth, was a young blond girl maybe around sixteen, Dean stepped up to the booth, ignoring the shout of protest from a boy in line, “you can’t cut the line!” 

Dean flashed his badge to Beth who paused in her collection of darts to face Jack and Dean, “can I help you?” she asked. 

“Yes, hi I’m Agent Erickson and this is my partner Agent Jones. We’re investigating the disappearance of the couple from the haunted mansion and wanted to ask you a few questions.” 

“Sure, whatever will help.” Beth replied. 

“So, you were working the mansion the day the couple went missing?” Dean confirmed. 

Beth nodded, “that’s right.” 

“What can you tell us about that day?” Jack asked. 

Beth glanced at Jack uncertainty and Dean cleared his throat, “answer the question.” 

Beth’s eyes shot back to Dean and she licked her lips, “well, it was a normal day I suppose. The couple went into the house and then I heard a scream and I never saw them again.” 

“Is that all?” Jack asked. 

“Yes, I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful,” Beth replied. 

“No worries, thank you,” Dean said. 

They left the water balloon booth and headed back towards the front of the carnival. Sam and Cas were waiting for them and Sam walked up to meet them, “There was no EMF, I’m not sure we’re dealing   
with a ghost.” 

“What then?” Dean asked as they walked over to the parking lot. 

“Demon?” Jack offered. 

“Maybe, but I didn’t smell any sulfur,” Sam said, “we’re going to have to talk to the other people who were in the mansion at the same time.” 

“Did you get addresses?” Dean asked. 

“Four of them,” Cas replied. 

“Great, let’s go check ‘em out,” Dean said as he opened the door to the Impala. 

“The first address is 24 Whitman Ave,” Sam said as he slumped into the passenger seat. 

24 Whitman Ave was a simple light blue house with white shutters and a perfectly cropped front yard. “We can’t all go in,” Dean said when he had parked the car on the street outside the house. 

“Cas and Jack can stay here,” Sam said. 

Without waiting for a response Sam got out of the car and Dean followed. As they walked up the driveway Sam asked, “What’s going on with you Dean?” 

“What are you talking about?” Dean replied in annoyance, now was not the time to have this conversation with Sammy. 

“What happened last night? Cas wouldn’t tell me and I’m worried about you, you haven’t been the same since you got back.” 

“I’m fine,” Dean growled. 

“No, you’re not fine Dean. If you want to talk-”

“I said I’m fine Sam,” Dean snapped. 

Their conversation was forced to come to an end because now they were standing on the doorstep and Dean had rung the doorbell. A young brunette woman with chocolate brown eyes answered the door, “hello, may I help you?” 

“Mrs, Willis?” Sam asked. 

“Yes,” Mrs. Willis replied, her eyes narrowing. 

“Agent Stiles and Erickson, we just want to ask you a few questions about the missing couple from the haunted house at the carnival,” Dean replied. 

“Oh, sure come on in.” Mrs. Willis opened the door wide enough for Sam and Dean to step through before closing it and leading them to the living room. The hunters sat down on the couch and Mrs. Willis   
sat across from them. “Can I get you anything?” 

“No, we’re alright thank you,” Sam replied. Sam leaned forward, “Mrs.Willis, what can you tell us about that day?” 

“Well, my daughter Riley and I went into the mansion with a few other people. It was just silly stuff really, nothing too scary. We were on the other side of the house when we heard the screams, it sounded   
awful. Of course Riley and I only thought it was part of the carnival but when they made us all leave I knew it was real.” 

“Is Riley home right now?” Dean asked. 

“No, she’s at a friends house.” 

“Well, if you or Riley remember anything else please give us a call,” Sam said, handing her his card. 

“Thank you, I will.” Mrs. Willis replied, taking the card and standing up to show Sam and Dean out. 

They stopped at the other three houses and only at the last one did they get something promising. Dean and Cas were sitting across from a young man and his daughter Eva. “What did you see Eva?” Dean asked softly, his green eyes searching the little girls. 

Eva looked away from Dean, her fingers fumbling with the cloth of her dress, “Tell these gentlemen what you told me Eva, they can help.” Eva’s father said. 

Eva blinked up and Dean and Cas and said quietly, “a monster.” 

“Can you describe it?” Cas asked. 

Eva swallowed uncomfortably, “it had spikes,” 

“Spikes?” Cas echoed. 

“Along its back,” Eva clarified. 

“Anything else?” Dean asked. 

“Sharp teeth and claws, I saw it grab that girl and boy.” 

“Did you tell the other officers about this?” Dean asked. 

“Of course we did,” her father said jaggedly, “no one believed her.” He lowered his voice so that Dean had to lean in to hear him, “I’m not even sure if I do, I mean it was a haunted mansion after all.” 

Dean chortled slightly, “yeah well, you’d be surprised at what actually turns out to be real and what doesn’t.” He stood up and extended his hand to Eva’s father, “Thank you for your time, if you remember   
anything else give us a call.” 

When they were back in the Impala Sam turned to Dean, “Anything?” 

Dean started the car and smirked, “the little girl saw the whole thing, said the creature had spikes, sharp teeth and claws, I don’t know about you but that sounds like a Chupacabra to me.” 

Sam nodded, “it could be.” 

“So, we need an oak stake dipped in goats blood,” Dean said. 

“Where are we going to find this, Chupacabra?” Cas asked. 

“Well, let’s start back at the carnival,” Sam replied. 

Dean stepped on the gas and the Impala lurched forward with a screech. When they arrived back the the carnival they made their way to the haunted house. Just as they were walking up to the attraction a   
familiar voice came floating towards them. Sam and Dean exchanged glances just as the blond haired woman turned around. “Sam and Dean!” She exclaimed, “Hiya!”


	3. Chapter 3

“Donna!?” Sam grinned as he pulled her into a hug, “it’s good to see you.” 

“You too, you boys alright?” Donna asked as she grabbed ahold of Dean and gave him a tight squeeze. 

“We’re just fine Donna,” Sam replied. 

“I wondered if I’d be seein’ you two, this case seemed a little strange.” 

“Well, here we are,” Dean said. 

“So, got any theories?” Donna asked in a low voice. 

“We’re thinking Chupacabra,” Sam replied. 

“We need an oak stake dipped in goats blood,” Jack added. 

“Oh, well doesn’t that sound wonderful!” Donna laughed. “Where exactly do you find an oak stake dipped in goats blood?”

“We have some in the Impala,” Dean replied. 

“You do?” Donna asked in surprise. 

“Chupacabras are more common than you think.” Sam answered, “we always have stakes on us just in case.” 

“Well that’s helpful,” Donna said cherrily. “So, how are we going to find it?” 

“Well, Chupacabras usually go after farm animals, so we should start by trying to figure out why it’s going after people.” Jack said. 

Sam nodded at Jack approvingly, “good idea Jack.” 

“Jack’s right, they don’t usually snatch people,” Dean said, “they act more like vampires but to animals.” 

“This one must be rouge,” Castiel said.

“Or it’s not a Chupacabra,” Donna suggested. 

“What is it then? Werewolf?” Jack asked. 

Suddenly Donna’s radio rushed with static as a voice came over the speaker, “Sheriff Hanscome, the missing couple has been found by the old Washer Farm,”   
Donna narrowed her eyes, “Sounds like there’s more you want to say officer Franks,” 

“Well, it’s just weird, the bodies are drained of blood.” 

Donna clicked off of the radio for a moment and glanced at the boys, “Chupacabra?” 

Sam nodded, “Chupacabra.” 

Donna spoke into the radio, “just wait there, I’m coming with some FBI agents.” 

“We’ll meet you there,” Dean said as he began to make his way towards the Impala. 

They arrived at the Washer Farm to find the scene of the crime roped off with three officers crouching over two bodies. Sam and Dean led Cas and Jack under the rope and they all flashed their badges. Just as all four of them were kneeling beside the bodies Donna showed up. “We’ve got it from here,” Donna said as she ducked under the rope. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Oh yeah, you betcha, go and get a coffee or something, you’ve earned it,” Donna replied with a smile. 

The officers left and Donna moved over to the group clustered around the bodies. “It looks like a Chupacabra to me,” Sam said as Donna joined them. 

“Where would it be now?” Donna asked. 

Dean scanned the farm around them, “It could be anywhere.” 

“Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ll be able to track it until it’s attacked again.” Sam said bitterly.

“We can only hope it’ll choose an animal this time and not a person,” Jack added. 

“Well, I don’t know if we’ll have to wait for it to attack again, we know it’s got to be somewhere in this area, we should split up and look for it,” Donna suggested. 

“It’s worth a shot,” Sam said. 

Dean nodded, “Let’s get the stakes from the trunk.” Once each person had a stake Dean shut the trunk and said, “Cas and Donna can come with me, and Jack can go with Sam.” 

“We’ll meet back here in ten,” Sam said. 

Dean led Cas and Donna around the bodies and towards the farm while Sam and Jack went the other way. “What do Chupacabras look like?” Donna asked as she gripped her stake tighter. 

“They’re covered in spikes and they have vampire-like fangs,” Dean replied without looking at Donna. 

“So, kind of like that,” Donna said shakily as she pointed at a figure moving through the trees that bordered the farm. 

Dean froze, flipping the stake in his hand he motioned for Cas and Donna to stay behind him. As they began to move Dean heard someone yelling, “Dean!” Sam’s petrified voice reached Dean as Sam sprinted forward, terror in his eyes, “It’s got Jack!” Dean surged forward, Cas on his heels, as they raced to try and reach the Chupacabra as it slunk through the trees. The beast started to run and just as it disappeared Dean saw Jack’s horrified face, with eyes wide in fear as he was dragged away. 

“Jack!” Cas screamed as he joined Dean. 

Dean spun to Sam, his brother was covered in blood and there was a deep gash running across his chest, “How did this happen!?” Dean yelled. 

“It came up behind us, I barely managed to get free and by the time I’d recovered, Jack was already gone.” 

“We have to go after him,” Cas said gruffly. 

“There’s no way we’ll catch it now,” Donna’s voice made everyone jump, “It’s too deep in the trees and the sun is going down, we’ll have to try tomorrow, when we’ll be able to follow the trail.” 

“Jack might not make it to tomorrow!” Dean growled. 

“He’s strong Dean, he can make it,” Cas said. 

“You three should go back to your motel, and I’ll call this in.” 

Cas healed Sam before they all piled into the Impala and drove silently back to the motel. 

****  
The next day Sam, Dean, Cas, and Donna were scouring the woods, looking for trails of blood or anything that could point them towards where Jack had been taken. “I’ve found blood,” Donna said as she pulled a leaf towards her. 

“I found his stake just over here,” Sam said. 

“He can’t be far.” 

There was a hiss from behind them and Dean turned to meet the Chupacabra as it leaped out at them. It pinned Sam to the ground, teeth bared. Cas pulled his stake from his trenchcoat, he charged at the beast but it swatted him aside like he was nothing. Donna and Dean moved on either side of it as it bared its teeth at Sam, leaning down for the killing bite. The Chupacabra shoved Donna away, a massive paw still pinning Sam down where he struggled to reach for his stake. Donna had distracted the beast long enough for Dean to advance. With a yell he shoved the stake into the side of the vampire-like creature and with a cry it released Sam and fell backwards, landing on the ground with a thud. 

Dean helped Sam stand as Cas yelled, “Jack!” 

“Jack!” Dean echoed. 

“Cas? Dean?” A shaky voice called from a ditch in the ground. 

“Jack!” Cas ran to help the nephilim get out of the hole. 

Dean helped grab one of Jack’s arms and together they lifted the boy out of the ditch. Jack was covered in blood and Cas quickly healed him, helping him walk as they left the Chupacabra and made their way back to the Impala. 

“So, is that it then?” Donna asked as Sam and Dean paused inbetween their doors and the carseats. 

“I suppose so,” Sam said with a sad smile. 

“It was good to see you Donna,” Dean said as he moved to give her a hug. 

“Stay out of trouble,” Donna smiled when Dean pulled away. 

“Don’t count on it.” Dean replied as he started the car and the Impala sped away. 

“You okay Jack,” Sam asked as they drove back to the motel. 

“I’ll be fine.” Jack replied. 

“Good,” Dean said gruffly. 

****  
When they got to the motel Dean sat back in his seat and said, “Cas, can I have a word?” 

“Of course, Dean.” Cas replied. Sam and Jack went into the motel and then it was just Dean and Cas sitting in the Impala. “Alright, I know you want to talk to me about what happened the other night so, go ahead.” 

Cas was silent for a moment before he leaned forward and said, “I just want to know why.” 

“Why?” Dean repeated. 

“Why you wanted to do it.” Cas simplified. 

Dean looked away from the angel for a moment, “I didn’t want to.” 

“What do you mean, you had the gun you were going to-”

“I wasn’t going to do it, I never would Cas. Of course I think about it, there are days that are harder than others but I’d never pull the trigger. The other night was the closest I’ve ever come to actually going through with it,” Dean paused and when Cas didn’t say anything he continued, “I was just going to go for a drive to clear my head, but then you got in the car and everything just came out. I started thinking about how much easier it would be if I were dead but then I always remember that Sammy and Jack need me and I can’t just leave them alone.” 

“What about me?” Cas asked quietly. 

Dean blinked, “what about you, what?” 

“I need you too, Dean.” 

Dean shook his head, “no, you don’t. I’m the one that needs you, Cas.” Cas was silent for a moment and Dean took the opportunity to keep speaking, “I’m okay, Cas, really I am.” 

“Dean,” Cas said quietly. 

“Cas,” Dean replied with a half-smile. 

“I love you.” 

The words took Dean by surprise and the hunter just stared at the angel as Cas’s blue eyes rounded with fear at what Dean’s reaction would be. Dean said the first thing that popped into his head, “Love   
you too buddy.” 

Cas seemed to relax slightly as he went on, “you make me happy Dean, and when I thought you were going to leave me that night-”

Dean stopped Cas by putting a hand on his shoulder, “I would never, never, leave you Cas, you’re too important to me.” 

“I am?” 

“Of course you are,” Dean patted Cas’s shoulder. 

It happened so fast Dean hardly had time to finish blinking. There was a blast of darkness and then suddenly, Dean’s hand was touching nothing and Cas was gone, Dean’s fingers slowly curled into the air, the texture of Cas’s trenchcoat fading from his fingertips.


	4. Chapter 4

“CAS!?” Dean yelled, scrambling forward in his seat to feel the space where Cas had been moments ago. “Cas!?” 

Dean practically leaped out of the car, his eyes wide in panic, “Sam!” He shouted as he burst into the motel room, startling Jack who was buttoning up a new shirt that wasn’t covered in blood.

Sam poked his head out of the bathroom, “what is it Dean?” 

“Cas is gone,” Dean said breathlessly. 

“I’m sure he’ll come back,” Sam replied. 

“No,” Dean grabbed Sam by the arm before he could return to the bathroom, “I mean he’s gone, he vanished into thin air, right in front of me.” 

Sam’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “but he doesn’t have his wings, he can’t fly.” 

“Something must have taken him,” Jack said as he came to join the conversation. 

“What could have taken him? There was nothing there, it was just me and Cas,” Dean said, panic laced his voice. 

Jack suddenly pulled Dean towards him, “What exactly happened when Castiel disappeared?” 

“Nothing, there was just darkness and then he was gone,” Dean replied. 

“Darkness,” Jack repeated. “What else?” 

“I told you, nothing.” Dean snapped. “We were just talking.” 

“What were you talking about?” Jack asked. 

“That doesn’t matter,” Dean growled. 

Jack pressed on, “Was Cas happy?” 

“What?” Dean huffed. 

“Was Cas happy?” Jack said again. 

Dean shrugged, “I mean I guess, he had just told me…” Dean trailed off, “this doesn’t matter, it has nothing to do with why Cas is gone!” 

Jack didn’t seem to agree, “What did he tell you?” 

“Jack,” Sam broke into the conversation, his eyes narrowing, “do you know something?” 

Jack ignored Sam, his eyes boring into Dean, “what did he say?”   
Dean glanced at Sam who just met his gaze evenly, letting Dean make his own choice. Dean licked his lips, “he said I made him happy and,” Dean let his eyes slip downward, “that he loved me.” 

“And what did you say?” Jack pressed. 

Dean’s jaw visibly tightened as he looked at Jack, “What’s the point of this, these questions aren’t going to bring Cas back! We should be out there looking for him!” 

“Dean,” Jack put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, “I might know where Cas is, but you have to tell me what you said.” 

Dean glared at Jack for a moment before he said, “I told him I loved him too, there are you happy?” He growled. 

Jack’s hand slid from Dean’s shoulder, “what was that about Jack?” Sam asked reproachfully. Dean was slightly surprised Sam didn’t comment on his admittance of love for Cas. 

“If Castiel was truly happy just now, then that means that a debt was just collected.” 

“What are you talking about!?” Dean snapped. 

Jack sighed, “Back in heaven, the empty wanted to take me but Castiel made a deal with it, that if the empty let me return to earth Cas would go with it.” 

“What!?” Dean spat in surprise. 

“But that was a while ago,” Sam said in confusion. 

“The empty told him that when Castiel was truly happy that’s when it would come for him.” Jack replied. 

“And you knew this all along!?” Dean hissed. 

“I promised Castiel I wouldn’t tell you.” Jack replied. 

Dean drew a hand down his face as he paced the room. “How are we going to get him back?” 

“I’m not sure we can,” Sam said dejectedly. 

“We did it last time,” Dean pointed out. 

“Last time, Jack had his powers and was somehow able to pierce the veil, this time we’re on our own.” Sam replied. 

“There is a way,” Jack said quietly.

“What?” Dean spun to face Jack, his eyes brightening with hope. 

Jack met his gaze evenly, “but it would require my death. If I died I would go to the empty and I could try and wake Cas.” 

“No.” Sam said immediately. 

Dean shook his head, “No Jack, we lost you once we can’t lose you again.” 

“I was dead, you didn’t have to save me, I didn’t ask you to save me, I didn’t ask Cas to give up his life for mine. I should be in the empty not him.” Jack’s voice broke as he sat down on the couch, “this is   
all my fault.”

“Don’t say that.” Sam said as he sat beside Jack. 

“There has to be another way to get Cas out,” Dean grumbled. 

“I don’t think there is.” Jack said. “The empty will be adamant about keeping Castiel there.”

“Maybe,” Sam paused and Dean turned to stare at him. 

“What?” 

“Maybe it’s time we just let Cas go,” Sam said quietly. 

Dean couldn’t believe his ears, “you don’t seriously mean that do you Sammy? Cas is family, we don’t leave family behind!” 

Sam faced Dean, “Look, I don’t like leaving him either, but maybe this time we shouldn’t go after him, Cas wouldn’t want us to.”

“Of course Cas would want us to!” Dean snarled. “We are not giving up on him Sam.” 

“I don’t know Dean,” Sam said not wanting to meet his brothers’ eyes, “If Cas willingly sacrificed himself then he might not want to be saved.” 

Dean was fuming, panic gripping his chest at the thought of never seeing Cas again, how could Sam even think about letting Cas go? “I’m saving Cas, with or without you.” 

“Dean,” Sam began but Dean was already turning away. He sat down at the table and opened his laptop. 

Dean researched until his fingers hurt and he could barely keep his eyes open. Empty bottles lay scattered beside him and a half finished beer bottle was slipping from his hands. It fell to the floor with a crash, jolting Dean from his half-asleep state. Sam and Jack were both asleep, light snores came from the bed Sam was sleeping on and Jack was in making small noises where he tossed and turned on the couch. The darkness of Dean’s computer screen reminded Dean of the moment Cas had disappeared and he quickly shut the laptop, rubbing his eyes with two fingers. He had found nothing, absolutely nothing on the entity known as the Empty and he wasn’t sure he ever would. All Dean could think about was what Jack had said about going into the empty himself. Dean wasn’t fully sure that would work considering Jack didn’t have his powers anymore, but it was beginning to look like the only option. He didn’t want to lose Jack but if he was willing then maybe… Dean shook his head. No. There is no way he was going to let Jack sacrifice himself for Cas. If they did manage to bring Cas back they would never hear the end of it, Cas had done this for Jack to keep him safe, just like any father would do for their son. Just like John had done for Dean. 

Dean knew if he was in Cas’s position and the Empty confronted him he would have made the same offer. It was just who the Winchester’s were, they were full of self sacrifice for the good of their family, Cas had learned from the best after all. Maybe Sam was right, maybe Cas wouldn’t want to be saved, but Dean couldn’t stop thinking about what Cas had told him about the Empty. How black it was, filled with nothing, screams of help lost to the void that would never end. Dean had to rescue him, he just had to, he couldn’t leave Cas in the empty, not after what had happened in the Impala. He couldn’t abandon Cas, he promised Cas he would never leave him. Dean decided to go for a walk and let his mind clear, he’d find a way to save Cas.   
When Dean opened the door to the motel twenty minutes later Sam was standing over Jack, screaming his name. Dean rushed to his side, “What’s wrong!?” 

Sam turned to Dean desperately, “He won’t wake up.” 

Dean pressed an ear to Jack’s face and he felt his heart skip a beat, “Sammy, he’s not breathing.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Jack, wake up!” Sam shouted as he shook Jack harder. 

Dean sat back in defeat, “He’s gone Sammy.” 

“He’s gone to the empty hasn’t he?” Sam suddenly turned on Dean, “Was this your idea!” 

Dean quickly drew defensive, “Of course not! Come on Sammy, I’d never let Jack do something like this!” 

Sam sighed heavily, “No, I know, I’m sorry, it’s just…” 

“I know.” Dean said quietly. 

“First Cas, now Jack.” 

Dean felt a weight drop on his shoulders, “There’s no way we’re going to be able to get them both out.” Sam didn’t say anything and Dean stared at his younger brother in anger, “You didn’t want to try to get Cas out but now are you seriously considering letting Jack stay there too!? After everything we sacrificed to get him back!?” 

“Dean, it’s not like that,” Sam said softly. 

“Then what is it like Sam, huh!? You just want to leave them both to disappear into the empty forever?” 

“Of course not Dean,” 

“Then what is it!?” 

“If Jack is in the empty then he’s going to try and save Cas, so, I say we just wait it out and stop looking for answers elsewhere.” 

“What if Jack can’t find Cas, what if Jack doesn’t even wake up himself? Cas said he only woke up because of Jack’s voice in his head, how can Jack wake up Cas if no one wakes up him? We have to try and   
reach them.” Dean said. 

“How, Dean, how can we possibly reach the empty?” Sam’s voice was filled with exasperation and Dean was growing thoroughly annoyed. 

“Giving up on people isn’t like you Sam,” Dean said, “what’s gotten into you? Why don’t you care about getting our family back?” 

Sam rolled his eyes, “It’s not that I don’t care, I just think that maybe Billie was right, what’s dead should stay dead and we shouldn’t try and mess with fate.” 

“I can’t believe this,” Dean snapped, “we’re saving Cas and Jack and that’s the end of it.” 

“Dean,” Sam said suddenly. 

“What?” 

“If Jack was in the empty wouldn't his body have disappeared?” Sam moved towards Jack. 

“Do you think he made a deal with a reaper or something instead?” 

“Maybe,” Sam replied as he began to press his hands into Jack’s chest. 

Dean watched with bated breath as Sam worked and then suddenly, Jack gasped for air. “Jack!” Dean exclaimed, pulling the boy into a hug. 

Sam grasped Jack’s shoulder, “What were you thinking?!” 

Jack drew in a few deep breaths before he said, “I just wanted to help.” 

“Jack,” Dean said his eyes meeting the boy’s, “killing yourself to help Cas, wasn’t the right way to help, Cas wouldn’t have wanted that.” 

“I know,” Jack murmured, “I just thought it was something you and Sam would do.” 

Dean gave a small laugh, “we’re not exactly the best role models for making decisions.” 

“That’s putting it lightly,” Sam said. 

After making sure Jack was okay, Dean sat back down in front of his laptop and began to search for answers. Like before, he came up with nothing. Sam hadn’t lifted a finger to try and help Dean but Dean   
was tired of at yelling at Sammy so he let his brother doze in and out of sleep while he typed furiously on the keyboard. It had been a few hours and Dean wasn’t any closer to getting answers. Sam had finally agreed to help his brother to a degree by doing some research but Sam wasn’t finding anything remotely helpful either. 

“I think we have to call it quits for the night,” Sam said with a yawn. 

Dean glared at his laptop, resisting the urge to plunge his fist through the screen, “I suppose you’re right, we’ll pick it up tomorrow.”   
Dean shifted on his bed, trying to get comfortable, his eyes fluttered shut only to be immediately reopened by the sound of screaming.  
****  
It took Dean a moment to realize the screaming was coming from his own mouth as his back arched in pain and tears dripped down his cheeks. “Sam!” Dean was shouting his little brothers’ name, hoping that Sam would hear him and find a way to get him out. The pain was unimaginable and yet Dean felt every slice, every curve of the knives and tools that dug into his flesh, carving away at his humanity, trying to break his soul. Dean shut his eyes to try and block out the pain and when he opened them again he was running, sprinting through the woods of Purgatory, Benny by his side and Cas’s trench coat billowing in front of him. 

“We have to lose ‘em,” Benny panted, as he glanced over his shoulder to see their pursuers, five Leviathans, getting closer with every step. 

“Got any bright ideas?” Dean asked as he swerved to avoid a tree, his momentary change of direction was enough for something to grab his legs and pull him to the ground. Dean clawed at the ground, trying to reach his blade that had been knocked from his hands. Benny struggled beside Dean, his teeth bared and his eyes wild in fear. The Leviathan’s mouth opened to reveal it’s teeth, tongue lolling in the air as it prepared to bite. 

“Dean!” Cas’s voice made Dean relax momentarily as the angel swiped Dean’s blade across the monsters neck. 

Cas reached a hand towards the hunter and Dean took it, getting his feet under him. He glanced towards Benny, ready to aid his friend, but Benny was dusting his pants off, black goo dripping from his blade as he flashed Dean a smile, “oh don’t worry about me, I got it covered,” he said. 

“Dean,” Cas’s voice brought Dean’s attention back to the angel, “we have to go, there’s more coming.” 

Dean saw the outline of Leviathan’s cresting the hill behind them and they started to run again, this time Dean was in the lead and this time, it was Castiel who fell behind. “Dean!” 

Dean spun to see the angel thrashing against a vampire that must have been lurking in the trees waiting for a meal. Dean surged forward, his blade raised to take off the vamps head, but suddenly Cas   
disappeared in a surge of darkness. “Cas!?” Dean yelled. 

“Dean.” A voice replied. “Dean, help.” 

“Cas!?” Dean yelled again, “Where are you!?” 

“Dean,” Cas’s voice was starting to fade, “help.”   
****  
“Dean!? Dean! Wake up!” 

Dean woke with a start, sitting up quickly, “Cas,” Dean muttered quietly. 

“What?” 

“Cas was trying to reach me,” Dean twisted on the bed to glare at his brother, “why did you wake me up!? He was trying to tell me something!?” 

Sam glowered at Dean, “You were having a nightmare, screaming in your sleep, if I didn’t wake you there would have been people banging on our door with complaints.”

“Cas was trying to tell me how to find him, and now we might never know!”

“I’m sure he’ll find another way to tell us,” Sam said. As Dean continued to stare at his brother in annoyance, he noticed the dark circles around his eyes, and the way his eyelids drooped and his shoulders hunched. 

“You didn’t sleep last night, did you?” Dean said. 

“Not very well,” Sam replied. 

Dean turned to Jack who was sitting up from the couch, “what about you Jack, how did you sleep?” 

“Pleasantly,” Jack replied as he brushed a stray strand of hair from his eye. 

They had all mutually agreed not to talk about Jack’s endeavour the night before, Dean thought it best not to bring it up, it would only make Jack feel worse. “I’m going for a drive,” Dean said blatantly. 

“Do you want to pick some food up on your way back?” Sam asked as Dean grabbed his coat from the back of a chair. 

“Sure.” 

Dean opened the door to Baby, letting her comforting scent swirl around him. There was only one way he was going to be able to get Cas back, a deal had to be made.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean sped down the road, searching for a place that would be secluded enough to have a conversation. Finding a small dirt road he turned down it and parked the Impala on the road’s shoulder. He sighed then got out of the car, letting the cold wind buffet his hair. He leaned against the Impala, his eyes tilted towards the sky. “Billie,” he said quietly, the name felt forced, like he was trying to stop himself from stooping this low. “Billie, please, I need your help.” 

“Dean Winchester.” 

Her voice came from behind Dean and he turned to face Death. Billie was clad in her usual black garments with her scythe gripped in her right hand. “Bille,” Dean regarded her. 

“This better be good Winchester, I’m not at your beck and call.” 

Dean cut straight to the point, “It’s Cas, Billie, he’s in the empty and I need you to get him out.” 

Billie shook her head, “sorry Dean, I can’t do that. I don’t have jurisdiction over the empty. I deal with human souls, angels deal with the Empty.” 

“There must be a way-

“There isn’t.” Billie’s voice was sharp, her eyes narrowing as she glowered at Dean. “You can’t keep calling on me for favors. I don’t work for the Winchesters.” 

Dean scoffed at her, “Cas doesn’t deserve to be in the empty, help me get him out-

“Castiel is not my concern, you can’t keep trying to resurrect everyone you lose. The rest of the world has to deal with the death of their loved ones, you shouldn’t be any different.”  
Dean licked his lips and tried to compose himself, “what if I made you a deal.” 

Billie crossed her arms, “not everything can be settled with deal, Dean.” 

Dean began to grow desperate, “if you can get Cas out of the empty you can have me. No tricks, no coming back, I’ll be dead.” 

Billie shook her head, “Sorry, Dean. As much as I would love you dead, I can’t make that kind of deal. I already told you I don’t have jurisdiction over the empty.” With that Billie left. Dean cursed into the  
empty air. Billie had been his best hope of getting Castiel out of the Empty, if Billie couldn’t do it then Dean didn’t know who could, or even if it was possible. 

Dean got back into Baby and drove to the store to buy some food. He bought Sam a salad, Jack some peanut butter and jelly, and himself a sandwich and some pie. When he got back to the motel Sam and Jack were waiting for him. “Took you long enough,” Sam said as he got up from where he’d been researching for cases on his computer. 

“Sorry Sammy, it took me a good ten minutes to find your rabbit food.” Dean replied with a smirk as he set the bags down on the table. 

Sam rolled his eyes, “yeah right.” 

“What did you get me?” Jack asked. 

“Peanut butter and jelly,” Dean replied as he pulled a loaf of bread from the bag. 

“Great!” Jack exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. 

Dean prepared Jack’s PB&J and then sat down with his own roast beef sandwich. They didn’t say a word as they ate, it was strange not having Cas there and soon Dean couldn’t take it any longer. “So, have you found anything we could use to get Cas out?” he asked. 

Sam shook his head, “I’m sorry Dean, but it really doesn’t look like there is a way.” 

Dean tried to steady the anger burning in him, “since when do we give up? There has to be something we’re missing,” Dean’s voice came out as a growl and Sam sighed. 

“Dean, I know this is hard for you, losing Cas, it’s hard for me too, but this was his choice we have to accept it.” 

Dean stood up in anger, “it was my choice to go to hell Sam, but did that stop Cas from dragging me from the pit, no, because here I am. You know what hell is like, Sam, you’d do anything to get out of there and never go back. Cas got out of the empty and now he’s back and it’s got to be worse than before. So don’t think for a second that I’m going to let Cas rot in nothingness!”

“Dean,” Sam said softly. 

“Don’t even start Sam. We don’t have to have this conversation again, we’ve already had it too many times, we’re saving Cas and that is the end of it.” Dean took a deep breath to stop the tears from spilling over his eyelids, despite his best efforts his voice still broke as he said, “Sammy please, I can’t get him out without you.” 

Sam sighed, putting his down his fork that was spiked with green leaves, “okay Dean, I’ll stop fighting you, but if we try everything and it doesn’t work you’re going to have to accept things for what they are.” 

Dean nodded, “I know Sammy.” 

“Okay, but in the meantime I think I’ve found us a case.” 

“A case? Seriously Sam, Cas is our case.” 

“Dean, there are still people out there that need our help, we’re not going to find Cas in a day, it’s going to take a while, so yes, in the meantime I think we should continue to do our job.” 

Jack spoke up before Dean could argue again, “that sounds like a good idea Sam, what’s the case?” 

“Okay, so according to this article, four people were found dead in Lexington Kentucky, all of the victims were practically disembodied, like something ate them. Most of the residents think that it’s a  
wild animal but to me that sounds like a rugaru’s M.O.” 

Dean mumbled absentmindedly, “yeah sounds like it.” 

“Look Dean, if it’s too much for you, Jack and I can just go and you can stay here and work leads on Cas.” 

Dean shook his head, “no Sammy, I’ll come.” 

“Great, let’s go then.” 

“If we really hustle we can get there by tomorrow,” Jack said as they climbed into the Impala and Dean started the engine. 

Dean drove the whole fourteen hours and Jack and Sam slept. When they reached Kentucky they checked into a motel and Dean collapsed on the bed. “Just give me four hours of sleep, you two can start researching more about this case.” 

“Okay,” Sam said. 

Dean was out like a light and he woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon. “We brought you some food,” Jack said. 

Dean grinned, “awesome.” 

After Dean ate, Sam filled him in on what he’d found out while Dean was asleep. “So, according to this article all the victims were found within a mile radius of each other and all within streets of each other at around ten p.m. So, my best guess is that the next hit will be on either Fern street or White Pond road.” 

“So, we split up?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, you can go with Jack and I’ll go alone.” 

Dean grimaced slightly, “I don’t know Sammy, Rugaru’s are pretty vicious when they want to be, splitting up might not be a good idea.” 

“It’ll be fine Dean, we can stay on the phone together the whole time if it’ll make you feel better,” Sam added the last part in a mocking tone. 

“Shut your face,” Dean growled. 

“We have a few hours before dark,” Jack said, “we should go scope out the locations and ask the neighbors questions before we stake out the spots.” 

Sam looked at Jack in approval, “good thinking.”

Fifteen minutes later Dean was knocking on the door of a resident on Grass Hill road, the house of the latest victim. A woman with long curly brown hair answered the door and Dean smiled at her. “Hi, Hayley Whittle?” 

“Yes,” Hayley replied. 

Dean’s grin deepend, “my name is Agent Carver and these are my partners Agents Harris and Lockland,” Dean said as he flashed his fake FBI badge.

“We’re here to follow up on the ongoing investigation to the murders that have been happening around here,” Jack piped up.

Sam stepped up and laid a hand on Jack’s shoulder. His tone was soft as he addressed Hayley, “we were just wondering if there was anything you could tell us about your late husband.” 

Hayley licked her lips and stepped aside, “why don’t you come in.” 

“Thank you,” Sam said with a smile. Hayley led them into her sitting room and Sam continued, “so, about your husband, did he have any enemies?” 

“Enemies?” she shook her head, “no, Paul didn’t really have enemies. But, he did get in a fight with his friend Manny a few days ago.” 

“This uh, Manny, what kind of guy is he?” Dean asked. 

“He’s sweet,” Hayley paused, “but a few days ago he really started acting odd.” 

“Odd how?” Sam asked.

“Did his appetite suddenly peak?” Jack asked. 

Hayley frowned slightly, “yeah, it did. His wife nearly called the hospital the other day, he ate a whole pan of raw meat.” 

Dean exchanged glances with Sam and Jack, “can we get an address for Manny.” 

“Um, yeah sure. It’s 23 Fern street.” 

Sam stood up, “well thank you for your time Mrs. Whittle.” 

As they climbed into the Impala Dean let out a laugh, “well that was easier than expected. We got it on the first house, that never happens.” 

“Well today is our lucky day then,” Sam replied. 

Dean pulled into 23 Fern Street and parked the Impala on the side of the road. Together all three of them mounted the steps of the little green house and Sam knocked on the door. A short mousy woman answered, her hair was disheveled and her eyes were bloodshot, she had a towel in her hands and a stained apron over her shoulders, “excuse me ma'am, we’re looking for you husband Paul.”  
Sam said. 

The woman let out a little shriek, “I don’t know where he is.” 

“Can you tell us about what’s been going on with him lately?” Jack asked. 

The woman’s eyes darted from side to side as she wrung the towel anxiously in her hands, “I don’t know what’s been wrong with him. One day he’s perfectly fine, the next, he’s eating a pan of raw meat on the floor. I tried to take him to the hospital but he ran away, he hasn’t been home since.” 

“Are there any places that Manny might go? Any known bars he frequents or friends he likes to hang around with?” Dean asked. 

“Well, he does like Hampton Bar over on Miller street.” 

Sam smiled at her, “thank you for your time.” He handed her a business card, “if anything comes up or if he comes home please don’t hesitate to call.” 

When they arrived at Hampton Bar the sun was starting to sink lower in the sky. “Jack, why don’t you stay out here and keep an eye out for anyone leaving the bar,” Sam suggested. “Dean and I will go  
scope out inside.” 

Jack nodded, “alright Sam.” 

Sam and Dean entered the bar and split up, each covering one side of the bar. Dean made his way over to the bar counter. “What can I get for you?” the bartender asked. 

“Whiskey,” Dean replied. 

Dean’s eyes flew from person to person until they rested on one figure sitting at the far end of the bar. He wore a hood and sunglasses and his left leg bobbed up and down. Dean locked eyes with Sam  
and motioned towards the man. As Sam started to walk towards him Dean’s drink was placed in front of him. He downed it in one gulp, slapped money on the counter and followed his brother over to the man. 

“Hey, buddy, you okay?” Dean asked as he drew nearer. 

The man’s head swiveled towards Sam and Dean as Sam said, “are you Manny?” 

The man nodded slowly but didn’t say anything, “you wife’s worried sick about you man, why don’t you come with us and we’ll give you a ride back home,” Dean offered. 

Manny let out a growl and lunged at Dean but Sam stopped him and tried to pull him away. Manny slipped from Sam’s grip and bolted towards the door, “Jack!” Dean yelled as he tore after Manny with  
Sam and his side. 

There was a howl of pain from outside and when Sam and Dean burst out of the bar doors they saw the fiery form of Manny trying desperately to put out the fire that was snaking up his body. With one last cry he crumpled to the ground, dead. 

Dean grinned at Jack, “nice going kid.” 

Jack smiled back, “thank you Dean.” 

“Come on, let’s get going before people start asking questions,” Sam said. 

When they reached the motel Dean sat down at the rickety table and opened Sam’s laptop, “what are you doing?” Sam asked. 

Dean sighed, “this case is over so I’m going back to trying to find a way to get Cas out of the empty.” 

Sam rolled his eyes, “you just can’t deal with him being gone can you?” 

Dean stood up at that, “he’s our friend Sam! He’s family! Of course I’m not just going to let him go!” 

Sam held his hands up, “I wasn’t trying to argue again Dean.” Sam turned to Jack, “I’m going to try and go find some dinner, if you want to come.”

“Sure,” Jack replied. 

Sam and Jack left and Dean sighed. The longer Cas was gone the more Dean thought that maybe he’d never see his best friend again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last chapter. It's a bit short but I hope you like it.

Sam and Jack returned with some food around nine o’clock and Dean was still no where close to finding any leads on Cas. “Still nothing?” Sam asked as he sat down next to Dean with his salad. 

Dean shook his head, “nope.” 

“There’s got to be something,” Jack said. 

“Well there isn’t,” Dean snapped. 

“Are you giving up?” Sam asked, there was a note of concern in his voice. 

Dean turned on his brother, “oh are you suddenly interested in finding Cas now? Do you want to try looking for him instead of just sitting on your ass and watching me?” 

Sam sighed, “why do you think I’m not interested in trying to find Cas? I just think that Cas will find his way out again, he did it before.” 

“Well the more we can help him the better off he’ll be,” Dean replied.

Sam shrugged, “I guess.” 

Sam helped Dean do some research for a few hours while Jack read up on some lore. It was getting late and Dean finally sighed, “alright, well I’m gonna shower and then hit the hay.” 

Sam nodded, “yeah okay.” 

Dean went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He braced his hands against the sink and sighed as he looked in the mirror. “Please Cas, if you can hear me, please wake up. You have to wake up, you have to get out of the empty Cas. I can’t live down here without you. I know I failed you Cas, It’s been days and I haven’t been able to get you out and I’m sorry Cas, I’m trying, I am, but nothing’s working. I don’t think I can save you on my own, you have to hear me Cas, you have to wake up. Please, I need you Cas, I love you.” 

****

It had been six months since Cas’ disappearance, Dean had prayed to Cas every night, hoping to get through to him, but each night Cas’ presence went unaccounted for. Sam and Jack were out hunting and Dean was lying holed up in bed, bandages wrapped around his stomach. He had lost a lot of blood when a Black Dog hunt went bad and Sam had forced Dean to stay in the motel room while they went out to gank the sonofabitch. Dean was sitting with his laptop on his lap but he was still getting no answers as to how to get Cas out of the empty. Dean shut his laptop in anger and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. 

“Cas,” Dean started his nightly prayer, “come on buddy, hear me, It’s Dean, Cas, please hear me.”

Dean started to drift off to sleep but the ache in his wounds made it hard for him to get comfortable. Dean wanted to sleep because in his dreams he saw Cas and in his dreams he could pretend the empty hadn’t taken him, he could pretend everything was alright. As another hour of pain passed him by Dean felt a tear slide down his cheek. “Please Cas,” Dean begged. 

There was a moment of silence and then the flutter of wings. Dean thought he imagined it, he thought it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but when he opened his eyes there was a figure standing there. Dean sat up as quickly as his wounds would allow him, “Cas?” 

“Hello Dean.” 

“Cas, is it really you?” Dean asked as he struggled to stand. 

Cas nodded slowly, taking a few steps towards Dean, “yes, it’s really me.” 

Dean stared at Cas in wonder and disbelief, “but, how are you here?” 

Cas moved closer to Dean, his blue eyes shining with angelic grace as he put two fingers to Dean’s forehead, “because you brought me here.” 

Dean’s wounds healed and and he and Cas stared at each other for a long moment before Dean pulled Cas into a hug. Cas hugged Dean back and Dean felt his fists curl around Cas’ trenchcoat. They stayed like that for a long time and Dean let the feeling of Cas wash over him, he let Cas’ being fill the whole he’d had in his body for so long. 

When Cas finally pulled away from Dean he said, “thank you.” 

“For what? I failed you Cas, I couldn’t get you out.” 

“But you  _ did  _ get me out Dean, your prayers were the only thing I had in the empty, they woke me up, they led me out,  _ you  _ led me out Dean.” Cas put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, the shoulder that used to bear the mark of Cas’ handprint. “Thank you.” 

“Cas, I’ve got to ask,” 

Cas lowered his hand and sat down on the bed, “why was I in the empty in the first place?” 

Dean nodded, “yeah. Jack said something about you making a deal for him, is that true?”

Cas nodded, “Yes. Jack go to live and when I was happiest the empty would come for me.” Cas paused, “I had to Dean, I had the opportunity to save Jack and I took it, you must understand that.” 

Dean nodded slowly, “I do.” 

Cas’ forehead crinkled in surprise, “you do?” 

“Of course I do, I’ve made deals Cas, you know that, hell I probably would’ve made the same deal if I was given the option,” Dean replied. Cas was silent so Dean kept going, “so, you were happy huh?” 

Cas laughed slightly, “yes Dean. I was happy. I  _ am  _ happy, I’m happiest when I’m with you.” 

“Yeah well, me too.” 

“I meant what I said before I disappeared. I love you.” 

“I love you too Cas,” Dean replied. 

Cas hesitated for a moment before he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean’s. Dean reciprocated the kiss, letting it deepen, letting all his feelings for the angel before him to show through the movement of his lips. When they finally broke apart they were both smiling. 

“So,” Dean began. 

“So.” 

“Are you going to tell me how you have your wings back or am I going to have to guess?” 

Cas laughed, “it’s simple really. I was dead and when I died I was restored to my full form, when you brought me back I was able to keep my wings.” 

“Well, now that you’re back with wings and all, am I going to have to remind you about personal space?” 

Cas grinned, “I’m sorry Dean, from what just happened I didn’t think you cared about personal space anymore.” 

Dean grinned back, “I don’t and you never listened to me anyway, so why would you start now?” Dean was starting to lean back towards Cas when the door to the motel room swung open and Sam and Jack, bloody and battered, came into the room.

They both stopped in the doorway, their mouths hanging open in shock. “Cas?” Sam asked in disbelief. 

“Hello Sam,” Cas nodded at Jack a smile on his lips, “Jack.” 

Jack stepped towards Cas, “Is it really you Castiel?” 

“Yes, it’s really me.” 

Jack pulled Cas into a hug and Cas seemed to melt into it. Sam hugged Cas next, his eyes on Dean the whole time, “how?” 

“Dean prayed,” Cas replied, “everyday, and I heard him.” 

Dean stood up before Sam could ask any more questions, “why don’t you two get cleaned up, I’m going to take Cas for a drive and catch him up on a few things.” 

Sam narrowed his eyes but smiled, “yeah okay.” 

“Come on Cas,” Dean said. 

Cas followed Dean outside and they got into the Impala. “Dean,” 

“Yeah Cas?” 

“Just, thank you, not many people have prayers strong enough to bring angels back from the empty.” 

“Well, it’s like you always say, we do share a more profound bond.” Cas laughed as Dean reversed out of the parking lot and sped off down the road. 


End file.
